Written by Dr. Caroline Leaf
What she said wasn’t what you heard….
What he thought wasn’t what you assumed…
When a word makes its way off your tongue and out of your mouth it’s no small feat or random event – it’s a complex process that began as a thought. And the phenomenal process of thinking, building and choosing a thought is incredibly complex. Add to this maleness and femaleness, and we find ourselves sorting through multiple circuitous loops happening in the brain at any one time to produce that sentence you just spoke to each other. The entire intricate process takes about half a second. Isn’t it amazing what can go wrong in that short time span!
Science shows that the art of conversation is a little more natural for a woman, which is be a big reason why so many of us girls love it – both the desire and the capacity are hard-wired into our minds.Research also shows that the circuits in a woman’s brain between the emotional processing and memory centers are large, very active and closely connected to the language centers in the brain. The circuits in a man’s brain are stronger between the spatial and action areas of the brain.
So, in general, men speak the language of facts, actions and results; women speak the language of feelings and emotions:
He’s designed to separate words, emotions and memories; she’s designed to link words, emotions and memories.
Women bond as they are having a conversation and give support while they are listening. Men have a conversation as a way of getting facts in order to solve problems and accomplish tasks, which produces a greater bond in relationships.
Men mentally index their thoughts; women externally pour out their thoughts. These are just a few differences, and we are surprised that things get lost in translation! In my book “Who Switched Off Your Brain? The Mystery of He said She Said” I show how these differences are part of our Intelligent design and that God did this for a reason: to get us to think of others and not only of ourselves. When you go beyond yourself trying to understand each other and the opposite sex, we follow the Jesus model of “100% give”. As we target this struggle, we will increase our peace, happiness and joy as well as our intelligence! So…don’t get lost in translation!
See this VIDEO CLIP (21mins) on understanding the male/female brain differences and handling addictions in a relationship. This interview segment was taped by myNewDay.TV For more information on their TV Ministry, see CONTACT